As I get older, stay sober for longer, and confront my character defects more fully, the fact that this blog is less-and-less anonymous is becoming more-and-more problematic. Especially when my my oldest and his friends have become completely internet savvy.

I’m finding that I can’t write many things I want to write… that in some ways I NEED to write. Not because they’re SO bad, but they have potential to hurt people, even if I’m just trying to get things out. This is why I haven’t been posting very often.

And this is why this is the last post I’m writing on Championable.

Somehow, bringing the theme of this blog from page to skin,  taking my greatest mental and emotional challenge and actually making it a permanent fixture on my forearm… has helped me realize that if I’m going to take the time to write, I need to write more fully, about the things that matter to me most… even if they are sometimes uncomfortable and utterly inappropriate.

Jesus.  I think I just said that I want to be Miss Britt.

Anyway. I don’t really know what to say here, other than:

Love to all.  Even you.

The debate is on, and I’m not watching.

Remember Bush/Gore?  Remember how Bush won the debate because he sucked less than everyone thought he would? Biden/Palin is worse, and I’m not participating in this idiotic charade by watching.

Love to all. Even you, the surgically enhanced mom at the Open House who wanted to know the “easy way” for her kid to learn things.

I made my own bumper stickers for the election of 2004.  They said “Anyone but Cheney.”  Ah, those were the days.  Cheney is a lying, evil, disgusting, extended-fart of a human. This is the guy who engineers no-bid, multi-billion dollar wins for his own business interests, sends thousands of soldiers to their deaths as part of a war that he knew didn’t have to be fought, denies being part of the Executive Branch of Government… and on and on…

Ah, Cheney, you evil prick.  You know what you’re doing.

Sarah Palin?  Holy CRAP.  Has anyone listened to her? She’s completely clueless. And I mean, COMPLETELY.  She doesn’t KNOW anything about the world.  At ALL. How can anyone, Republican, Democrat, Green, Libertarian…. Allow this woman to be a heartbeat away from the Presidency?  What the fuck is wrong with you, America?

I guess the theory is that there’s One Universal Vagina, and it votes.

All women should be outraged by the choice of Sarah Palin.  Outraged.

And to all the democrats/centrists who “aren’t sure” who you’re voting for… I have one thing to say:

FUCK YOU, YOU MOTHERFUCKING RACIST SHITBRAINS.

Maggie actually put this thought in my head, but not with this phrasing or intensity.

But look:  this is the most polarized race of my lifetime.  There is no nuance. McCain and Obama are completely different.

So, you either vote for McCain, or you can’t bring yourself to vote for Obama because he’s black.

Jesus.

On a side note, I’m completely sick and praying for rain.  I can’t handle soccer today… but I will if I have to.

Love to all. Even you, President Zadari.

I’m going to have to drive a CAR to the train station tomorow.  A freaking CAR.  That means I don’t get to wear my new Draggin’ Jeans.  I’ve gotten so used to riding the Shadow to the train station that I’m really not psyched to get behind the wheel of an SUV.  Bleah.

Stress reigns. Balance is elusive. Strip clubs and cocaine are not options.

And I never did cocaine, anyway.

Love to all. Even you, the beyond senior advertising guy who is scaring me a little.

I’ve made one or two really bad mistakes in my business, and they’ve cost me a lot of money.  I almost lost my house.  And did the government write me a fucking check?  No. Of course not.

Because my fuckups were only $100,000 fuckups, not $100 BILLION fuckups.

“But if the government doesn’t bail out these firms, they will fail.”

They HAVE failed!  They’re fucking TOAST.  That’s the definition of failing, for God’s sake!  They put themselves out of business!

“But if the government doesn’t bail out these firms, the world financial markets will collapse, which will cost more than the bailout.”

Okay.  Fine.  If you want to bail out these losers, these complete and utter failures, then hire someone who is paid directly on how little his can buy these fuckers’ assets for (and make sure that person’s decisions are fully vetted and publicized prior to being finalized), and then issue stock for the new government entity that owns the failures, and issue the stock to the taxpayers.

Unless the people own the companies they’re bailing out, FUCK THOSE COMPANIES.

I’m dead serious.

Love to all.  Even you, you monumental failures.

10 is the number of girls.

9 is their average age.

2 is the number of the parents in this house, including me and Maggie.

All at 1 sleepover.

Which means 0 is the amount of sleep I am going to get.

Love to all. Even you, the girl who still says “talk to the hand.”

Test I

Test II

I love writing my own variable data.  I really do

Love to all.  Even you, the salesperson who seems to not be able to tell me how to sell her.

Five years ago today, my wife asked me:  “Is this what Jesus wants for you?”

I answered: “No.”

I went back to AA that day.  And have been sober ever since.

For everything that has happened, for everything that is, and for whatever comes:  thank you, Maggie.

Love to all.  Even you.

Over the last four weeks, I’ve set a record for the number of weekday AA meetings I’ve attended.  During that time, I’ve had to deal with some unbelievably stressful situations.

The hardest of which: I fired someone I really like on a personal level.  I tried really, really hard not to fire them, but it was choiceless in the end.

Interesting times, hard days.  But I do have reasons to smile.

Going through tough moments while taking care of my alcoholism has resulted in unusual stability.  I wish I could alternate-universe it for a second and see how I would have handled stuff if I DIDN’T go to so many meetings.  Or maybe I should just have faith in the process.

Love to all. Even you, the WB Mason sales guy.

In a nutshell, they gave each of us different questions,  had us look them up in a manual, and give the answers to the whole class.

They asked me:  “Why do you shift gears?”

I answered:  “You know, well, sometimes you work the same job for like, 10 years, live in the same place, see the same people, eat the same food, and you just get tired if it, man.  You know?  Tired of the same old thing.”

The instructors looked at me.  So I said: “To match the speed of the bike to the speed of the road?”

They said:  “Right.”

Love to all.  Even you, the kid having a major nicotine fit.