Flux.
In a town where you practically have to knock down $200k just to break even, I'm starting to look hard at rationalizing my life. My oldest starts college in well under a decade, with two more shortly to follow. We need to change our approach.
Over the last two weeks, I've had severe problems at work, thought my marriage was going under, and underwent the greatest Perfect Storm of Suck I've ever experienced.
But at least I got to make a really good pee joke.
I was asked to speak at an AA meeting in NYC on Monday night. It's a crazy-ass old-school place called The Mustard Seed... in the basement of a Manhattan brownstone. At the end of the meeting, someone was sharing about how the feeling from drinking during a relapse is never the same as before one got sober. She was saying that she never felt that moment of pure static that she, like me was always chasing.
When she was finished, I said: "That maybe true about drinking, but I can tell you that the peeing in your pants part feels exactly the same!"
Only in a room full of recovering alcoholics would that have gotten the laugh it did.
Anyway.
The problem I'm having is finding balance: pushing the agenda when it's right to push the agenda, and backing the fuck off when it's not my business. They are both important, and I'm good at neither.
Struggle, baby. Struggle. Maggie just pulled in. Gotta run.
Love to all. Even you, the mom's who bought their kid's cookie costumes in order to sell girl scout cookies.
Over the last two weeks, I've had severe problems at work, thought my marriage was going under, and underwent the greatest Perfect Storm of Suck I've ever experienced.
But at least I got to make a really good pee joke.
I was asked to speak at an AA meeting in NYC on Monday night. It's a crazy-ass old-school place called The Mustard Seed... in the basement of a Manhattan brownstone. At the end of the meeting, someone was sharing about how the feeling from drinking during a relapse is never the same as before one got sober. She was saying that she never felt that moment of pure static that she, like me was always chasing.
When she was finished, I said: "That maybe true about drinking, but I can tell you that the peeing in your pants part feels exactly the same!"
Only in a room full of recovering alcoholics would that have gotten the laugh it did.
Anyway.
The problem I'm having is finding balance: pushing the agenda when it's right to push the agenda, and backing the fuck off when it's not my business. They are both important, and I'm good at neither.
Struggle, baby. Struggle. Maggie just pulled in. Gotta run.
Love to all. Even you, the mom's who bought their kid's cookie costumes in order to sell girl scout cookies.
10 Comments:
You and your family will be in my prayers. Sorry you're having such a rough time.
I hear ya. Asking for what you want and putting what others need first. That's (one of) my continuums.
Sometimes it's not balance but maybe not staying in one ditch too long?
or maybe it's balance. :D
peace.
Your family is in my thoughts. And good for you for not relapsing and for telling a funny joke. =)
I hope balance is near for you.
All cannot be lost if you can still pull off a pee joke.
Wishing you a much better week ahead.
Safe to say for me that:
You own what is on your side of the street and THEY own whats on the other.
Remember to check your motives, and keep your emotions in check whenever necessary. I always err on the side of caution when offering up anything in certain situations.
1. Is it Necessary
2. Will it help me or them
3. Am I making a mountain out of a molehill
4. Need I just keep my mouth shut and let them figure it out
5. Sobriety First - Marriage and Kids Second - Everything else THIRD.
You are no good to anyone sick or dead.
Forecasting for alcoholics is usually warned away from. You only have today, 24 hours, make the best of them.
It is necessary to look forward for our kids, but is the risk of insanity worth it? Take care of your wife and remember to stay on top of issues that concern YOU and YOUR life.
Stay out of dramas that don't concern you. And don't offer up anything unless it is necessary. that keep us out of trouble.
YOU spoke at The Mustard Seed!!
We've heard of that meeting here.
We get visitors from that meeting at my home group occasionally.
Stay Kool Man - and when in doubt ask another alcoholic who may be able to help you.
Stay Away from Hungry - Angry - Lonely and Tired.
Get to a meeting and Call your sponsor.
Hang in there....
This Too Shall Pass...
Jeremy
I keep feeling like I'm missing something from you lately... which is odd. Or rather, unexpected.
I wish I had words of encouragement. But the best I've got is...
Me too.
Everyone else has already said all the good stuff... so let me just say ditto... keep bending our ears when you need to... and hang in there amigo. You're a rock star.
Did you feel that? That was a wave of antipodean empathy crashing on the New York shore. xx
And I'm betting it's more the backing-the-fuck-off, isn't it? Yeah, me too, for a very long time. I'm just now kinda getting the hang of it. Only took me 14 years of not drinking, ten years of therapy and some very nice psychiatric meds.
Yeah, it's a bitch. :-)
Your sense of humor is still intact - wonderful. Love "pee" jokes. Wish your struggle was easier, but you seem to have a handle on it all. Good luck!
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