So, I’m back from Florida.

I got sick on day one. A sinus infection which, as is my tendency, travelled to my chest… which started to hurt in the same spot it always does. It got worse over several days, and I finally called my doctor to see if he would call in some antibiotics. I knew it was bacterial. You know how. And if you don’t, I’m not gonna gross you out and tell you.

Reasonably, the doctor said no, and asked me to come in tomorrow.

So I’ve been on this crazy Excedrine/Sudafed regimen which has kept me going until now. And I even had a fun time in Floriday! Now, though, I’m going to CRRRRRASH.

 

So, apparently if you search Google for “Gay Gorilla,” this site comes up in the top 10. What does this say about me, exactly?

Well, as you’ve probably guessed: I’m pro-gay. What this means is: I think the whole “gay issue” is one of right and wrong. Unlike nearly every other issue I can think of, I absolutely cannot see the other side’s point of view. If you think being gay is wrong, bad, evil, etc… then you are on the “wrong” side of the issue. If you believe that being gay gives you as much of a chance of being a wonderful person, a jackass, a doctor, a criminal, as any other person on the planet, well… you’re on the “right” side of the issue. Being gay is just being a person. Period. Finito. No discussion.

There is no in between.

Oh: I also own and sometimes wear a really cool gorilla suit. Thus, the “gay gorilla” search results. Although now I’m probably going to index at number one.

And no: I’m not a closeted gay dude. If I WAS gay, I’d be out there, baby! Safely, of course.

 

I took 38 pictures of Carter today. We were outside, roaming the yard. It’s so strange to think he’s got three or four weeks left. Shit, shit, shit.

 

The vet called me an hour ago, which was very nice of him since it was his day off. I asked him the questions I needed to ask about Carter, and after I promised that I would not hold him to any of his predictions, he gave me some straight answers. He things Carter will be pretty good for the week we are away. But he thinks he’ll only have two or three weeks after that. It could, however, be as long as five or six.

I feel terrible about leaving. I mean, Carter LOVES staying with Holly, and our other dog will be with him… and the vet said it would be absolutely fine. And, of course, my father-in-law has been planning this trip for months and months and months… but I just feel terrible. Everyone on the trip knows that if Carter decompensates at all, I’ll be flying back immediately.

So I’m sad. And that’s pretty much all I can be. He’s a wonderful, emotional, dog. The vet is making an execption with Carter: when the time comes to put Carter down, he’ll come to our house to do it.

I will not let him suffer out of selfishness.

 

I just found out that my dog has liver cancer. I’m really saddened by it. He’s a good dog. A friendly dog. And one that I’ve had for twelve years. I found him one day, when I went to buy fish food. There was an adopt-a-day thing happening, and since I like dogs so much, I sat down and pet a few of them. I even took this one other dog, a wheaton terrier, for a walk.

Then, well, there he was.

Jet black, undernourished and somewhat sullen (but not for long!), this dog (temporarily named “Zane”) called to me. He was all black except for a little part on his chest, and one of his toes, which were white. I said at his cage for a while, and he looked at me, and put his paw on my hand.

I took him for a little walk. Then I took him home.

I was scared of him when I bathed him… would he bite me? But no. He let me wash him off, and when he emerged, he was gorgeous. GORGEOUS.

When Maggie came home (she was my girlfriend, then), she was, um, shocked. After all, we were planning on moving to Brooklyn, and how would we find an apartment that allowed large mutts on premises.

We named him Carter.

The first morning he woke up in our bedroom, he was ecstatic. Clearly, he expected to be waking up in a cage somewhere, and instead he was home.

Twelve years passed. Children were born. We got cats. Another dog. We moved from the apartment in Brooklyn to a house in Brooklyn to a house in Westchester.

Without question, this dog has been my truest and loyal friend. He’s been with me through so much. And I’m so terribly, terribly sad at the prospect of his passing.

It could be a week, more likely a month. We’re supposed to go to Florida next week. I have told Maggie that I will be flying home if he seems sicker. I want to be with him when he goes. And if anyone has to put him down, it’s going to be me.

Damn, I love you Carter. You big, garbage-dumping pain in the ass.

 

Let me change what I said about my new hire and other employee. For our needs RIGHT NOW, the new person is a much better fit than my current person. Although I think she (the current person) is incredibly nice and wonderful and a great asset.

It’s just that, in terms of generating what we need to generate, the new person is much more immediately and broadly skilled.

Poop.

 

The person I hired last week is so much better than the person I currently have that I’m not sure if I need both of them.

Oh, lord.

 

I want to posit this: people who are anti-birth control are inherently pro-abortion. And I don’t mean pro-choice. Regardless of what they SAY, people who are against birth control are doing their utmost to promote increased abortions in this country.

Sad, but true.

 

How cool is THIS?

Trent Reznor, who’s songs drove no small part of my brief foray into clubs in the early 90′s, has released a song in Garageband format. This allows folks to remix the song as they see fit. I think this is totally cool. Windows users: you have to buy a Mac to do this.

But hey, a Mac Mini is just $499.

 

Please don’t get me wrong. I don’t know enough about Cardinal Ratzinger to say he’s anything other than an enforcer of the anti-choice, anti-gay doctrine I’ve come to expect. But I think that, regardless of outcome, and regardless of whether Ratzinger was “forced into” the Hitler youth and did indeed desert the German army out of protest, electing a former Hitler Youth and WWW II German soldier to be Pope would be a disaster. What would that do to the Jewish folks (being a convert therefrom myself…), or to the Islamic world?

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