Maggie and I were originally married in a Jewish ceremony. We were going to do a combination-type thing, but the Rabbi we were going use wouldn’t officiate at a two-religion deal. Besides, my family would’ve freaked. They pre-freaked, so the full-on freakness was assuredly to follow. However, we did add some Christian elements ot the Jewish ceremony: intercessionals, for example.

Fast forward 7 years. Maggie, having found her way back to the Catholic Church, asks me to go with her to mass (For company. Truly nothing else.). And in the midsts of my mentally-ill father’s crazy-ass Borderline Personality Disorder-driven onslaught, I get hit with the Jesus stick. In April 2003, I convert to Catholicism. Sometime over the next few months, one of the priests mentions that we might want to have our marriage blessed by the Church.

[Sidebar: Yes, that’s right. I got hit with the Jesus stick, and now I’m a full-on Holy Spirit fanatic. Admittedly, I have real issues with how ostensibly Christian folks misuse the Gospels (and the rest of the Canon) to bolster stupid and dangerous political and social agendas… but bring it on, people. I guarantee you that I’ll have you talking circular arguments within 3 rounds of discussion. I'm that good. And that confident.]

Fast forward another 2.5 years. Present day. Our 10th Anniversary is this Saturday. On Sunday, we’re having 46 people to our renewal of vows. It’s sort of a “first” wedding, too… since we were never married in the Catholic Church. After all the things we’ve been through, and the amount of shit I’ve put Maggie through… the fact that she’s doing this AGAIN is huge.

And I’m taking it seriously. It’s a big deal to me. In some ways, it’s a bigger deal than the first time.

Love to all. Even you, the serially single.

 

My crazy-ass contact in Montreal wrote an impassioned post about flossing… which I can’t seem to find on his blog anymore. Anyway: it inspired me. Anything written with such pure belief has to be considered seriously and immediately. And I’m fully aware that this is one area in which I sorely lack. So I went and bought a Reach Access flossing kit, and got busy. My teeth feel stronger already.

All of which gets slotted into the category of: Evidence that I Need Ever-More Maintenance Not to Fall Apart at the Seams. Oh, Lord.

Love to all. Even you, the transplanted Albanian.

 

“Let it Dive” by And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead
“Destiny (Photek Remix)” by Zero 7
“Godless” by The Dandy Warhols

 

That’s WAY better than I thought I could do. Holy crap.

The race was the “Fifth Avenue Mile” in NYC. It’s the first short race I’ve ever run, and it’s the first one I’ve been in that has heats by age. I swear… it was the craziest race I’ve been in. While I was trying to figure out how to get my breath back, and whether I could keep up the pace I was running… I saw the finish line up ahead. So I bore down and took off… I ended the race full-on screaming for the last 10 paces.

Rock on.

Love to all. Even you, that lady who was giving her daughter a hard time on 86th Street.

 

You know, it doesn’t matter if I’m right, sometimes. It just doesn’t fucking matter. I think I’m finally learning the meaning behind the expression:

“Which would you rather be: right, or happy?”

I think I’d rather be happy.

Love to all. Even you, yeah, YOU.

 

I’m off kilter.

Today, I read about these little earthquakes in California, and I checked to see how close to my parents they were. (They were 60 miles away). I’ve never been to my parents California house. They moved a couple years ago without telling me. Part of me always wants to give them a ring or shoot them an email saying: “Hey, if you need help, let me know.”

But I’ve been there, done that, and I don’t have the constitution for the hate-laden filth that my father shoots my way when I’m the current Evil Focus of his Borderline Personality Disorder.

Anyway.

Maggie and I are having a little tiff. I feel justified in my reactions and position, but that’s not going to make the situation any BETTER, is it.

No.

 

I’m on the right.

 

Three kids.
Two dogs.
Two cats.
Two companies.
One spouse.

Even though I’m doing a lot of work on a lot of different things, I just can’t get with the idea that I’m doing ENOUGH. And the more successful I am, the more this feeling of mild panic grows. It’s really silly and frustrating and affects my whole deal. I have to learn to chill.

End of complaining.

Love to all. Even you, the woman who clearly spilled crap all over her jacket.

 

If you’re one of those folks who likes to drink, and it doesn’t fuck up your (or anyone else’s) life in any way… more power to you. In the same way that I’m hugely in favor of legalization of marijuana in spite of the fact that I don’t use it at all, I really believe that people should pretty much be able to do what they want, if it doesn’t hurt others.

Me, though… I’m not that good at the drinking.

Two years ago today, I quit. And while it’s not the kind of thing for which I’m going to throw myself a party… I’m pretty freakin’ happy that I did. So: yay, me.

Love to all. Even you, the woman who thought “I’m am NOT going to drink today. And did, anyway.”

 

I’m going to run in the Fitness Magazine 4-mile race now. It’s a qualifier for the NYC 2006 marathon, so that’ll leave me with only two more to go! For today’s experiment, I’m going to run it listening to Zero 7′s “Destiny,” the Photek Remix. On repeat.

Love to all. Even you, the people who start at the 7-minute mark when they do 11-minute miles.

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